Saturday, December 31, 2016

Christmas 2016

Christmas #2 with our sweet Hen is in the books! 

We got Hen one big gift this year - a retro kitchen!
Kid Kraft: Blue Retro Kitchen
Melissa & Doug: Play Food, Pots and Pans
Amazon: Play Utensils
Kid Kraft + Melissa & Doug create safe toys that actually look good!

Friday, December 30, 2016

Just a grass blade

I love watching you in the grass. Our Texas lawn is overgrown by the not so cold December sky. You sit at the edge of our concrete slab that some may call a patio. You lean over and touch the grass. You wave your hand letting the grass tickle you and slip between your fingers. You look back at me smiling a toothy grin. Your eyes are so blue in this green backdrop. Your face is a mix of wonder and pride. You are in awe. You finally rip a blade of grass at the seam. You toddle over and say “here” while placing it into my open palm. I love you in this moment. My mind is already freezing time and putting this into the file cabinet of my mind so I can pull it out in the future. It’s almost like I’m not here at all. I’m already in the memory. Buried even further back in my mind is another girl, on another lawn, holding another blade of grass ripped at the seam. Right now you’re living a moment I’ve already lived. 

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

The Girl with Flowers in Her Hair

To my daughter from a woman you’ll never know. By the time you’re old enough to read this I’ll be someone else. You change me each day mostly for the better, but you’ve also made me a bit more anxious and less adventurous. Okay, a lot more anxious. Sometimes I think back to the girl your dad met so many years ago. I was free spirited and flighty. I used to draw. Do you know that? I have no idea where my sketch pad is. All I remember is the last thing I drew was a girl with flowers in her hair. Me. Then I was just a girl with flowers in my hair and your dad was just a boy in love with that girl. 

Monday, December 26, 2016

In it.

This Christmas we went to Austin’s Trail of Lights. To Hen it’s all magic. With just one Christmas bulb on the tree she's elated. We walked the trails stopping to indulge her glee. I realized I’m in it. I’m in my life. So much of childhood, hell even adulthood, is waiting for your life to begin, dreaming of what your life will be, but my life is here. It’s odd to know I’m in the moment. I’m in the moment I’m going to hold onto forever. Nostalgia, the days I’ll dream about, these are them. 

Thursday, December 1, 2016

When a stranger chooses kindness...

Even the most impatient of us grows in patience and empathy when becoming a parent (I hope). It's truly amazing how my daughter inspires such kindness in my soul. She relies on me for everything. However, she doesn't always inspire patience and empathy in those around her. She can be difficult and demanding. She can also be playful and silly, which is sometimes only cute to me. Balancing the sanity of others with the lesson I'd like her to learn is a thin line. For example, when she's being curious and adventurous at the store, how do I reward that without driving everyone around me nuts?

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